Word of the week - determination #WOTW17:54
At the start of this year, I set myself some goals. Some of those goals I have achieved this week already! This week, I did something new, terrifying and exciting all at the same time. I went to a (free) fitness class. I actually can not believe I did it. I kept umming and ahh'ing about going, I so, so nearly didn't go but I really pushed myself to go and I'm glad I did, even though I was very anxious. I have a lot going in my life at the moment and I was wondering if this was the right time to be going to a fitness class, in all honesty, I really did not want to go. The thought of working out and exercising in front of people terrified me because I have zero self confidence (or so I thought!). But I knew I had to do it. I had to do it for myself. I was anxious that everyone would stare at me, that I'd make a complete fool of myself and I was just really anxious about the whole thing in general. I'm not a very sociable person and feel awkward around people, especially people I don't know but I overcome that anxiety, I said yes to something I wouldn't usually do, it involves being more social and it's the first step on the ladder to loosing weight. It's also the first step to dealing with the horrific anxiety I deal with. I achieved four of my goals in one night and I am certainly going to keep up with it, no matter what happens. If someone had of said to me this time last week that I'd have gone to a fitness class, I would never believed them! This is a HUGE deal for me.
The class itself was quite hard to begin with but I soon got into it. No one stared at me, no one was bothered, what was I so worried about? We are all there for the same reason!
I've also got to know my neighbour better, we teamed up as partners at the fitness club. She's so lovely! My stamina isn't great and I still can't do burpees but I will workout at home so hopefully next week my stamina will be a bit better. Now I know what to expect, I am hoping I won't feel so anxious next week.
After the class, I felt so proud of myself. I felt so satisfied. It was such a good feeling, I haven't felt like that for such a long time, I'd forgotten that such a feeling existed!
I am really looking forward to going next week and I am SO determined to loose weight and over come this anxiety, I know it won't be easy but I don't want to spend my life anxious, nor do I want to spend my life feeling and looking fat.
I am so determined to loose this weight. I am so determined be more social and over come anxiety, at least a little. I am also determined to stick to this fitness and weight loss journey.
I can do this and I WILL do this!